Monthly Archives: July 2011

Britney Pledges Superfan to Montserrat Caballé & TfQ Campaign

Tears for Queers play at the George & Dragon tonight from 8ish until after midnight joined by guest star, Britney superfan and cashmere maniac.

Montserrat Caballé arrives at work for dress-down Friday.

Britney Spears has pledged the use of a handsome superfan to Tears for Queers for their internationally loved summerfun party tonight at notorious London fagpit, the George and Dragon. Citing Tears for Queers hugely influential campaign with ragga legend Montserrat Caballé to boycott tabloid press, Britney declared, “Those femme fatals inspired me to ditch the tabloids and hit The Economist” before apparently mimicking a sheep and repeating the word “Baaaaby” countless times.

Montserrat Caballé hitting the floor to Amanda Lear at the latest Tears for Queers

As revelations about tabloid evil poured forth this week, Montserrat Caballé and Tears for Queers responded to the rank lack of decency and democracy by calling on fans to boycott the publications. To combat the inevitable ennui and anxiety of tabloid withdrawal, they recommended fans draw strength by reading a book or looking at pictures of inspirational ladies such aso Pam St Clement, Patti Labelle and Estelle Getty.

Estelle Getty, inspirational leader

Montserrat Caballé is just the latest in a long line of big hat wearing woman to join forces with the High Priestesses of good times, Tears for Queers. Aretha Franklin and the first lady of Cameroon were rumoured to be planning a murderous millinery rumpus at the DJ’s now legendary GutterSlut debut earlier this year. Thankfully no headpieces were harmed and the ladies settled their hat-based differences through a good natured dance off.


Rafa Nadal: “My jock and I love Tears for Queers”

Rafa: introduced to Tears for Queers at interminable Oprah luncheon

The world’s greatest tennis player and preeminent jockstrap ambassador, Rafa Nadal, has revealed his love for DJ legends Tears for Queers. The toned and tanned tennis hottie made the unexpected declaration ahead of today’s Wimbledon semi-final and Tears for Queers much hyped appearance at Hackney fagpit, the George & Dragon.

“I was introduced to Tears for Queers by Patti Labelle and Michelle Obama at one of Oprah’s damned, interminable luncheons”, explained Nadal to a bemused press pack. “I really related to their energy and shorts. And I just loved their peerless collections of feelgood party hits”.

When the assembled reporters pressed Nadal to explain what this had to do with his performance at Wimbledon, the buff beauty shrugged enigmatically, “ask my jock”.

Tears for Queers, currently pioneering a cure for tuberculosis that harnesses the power of sandwiches, offered no comment but dedicated the following video in tribute to both Rafa and his undergarments.

Tears for Queers unleash their unique party fun on the first Friday of every month from 8 until 12ish at The George & Dragon, 2-4 Hackney Road, London.
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