Rumours of Tears for Queers latest tattoo are unconfirmed
Fresh from building 13 primary schools in the mad heart of the Amazon jungle while also inventing a whole new flavour of muffin, Tears for Queers return home this Friday.
All are welcome to join this loving musical extravanganza in trademark shorts and vests from 8ish in legendary London homo-hotspot The George & Dragon, 2 Hackney Road. Dance ’till the sweat hurts you eyes and the euphoria warms your heart. The best things in life are free (with the exception of the beer).
Panic spread through London this morning after a giant, burning ball of fire was spotted in an alarmingly blue sky. Following official reassurance from Tears for Queers that this soaring, opiate orb was the Sun, Londoners have scampered squinting in to its joyous light. There are unconfirmed reports of vests and shorts in parks across the city.
In celebration of this resurrection, here is a bone fide summer anthem, Bar-be-que by wonderous Wendy Rene. ¡Olé!
To satisfy a particularly wet, grey Friday and to commemorate the 47th birthday of rave Queen Rozalla, Tears for Queers have unleashed a bespoke Heartache playlist.
Embodying Tears for Queers’ trademark inclusiveness by spanning everyone from Billie Holiday to Zola Jesus, the list moves away from their renowned party hits. Instead, it gives a glimmer of insight in to what the short-wearing polymaths might listen to when they take an oh-so-rare break from simultaneously invigorating global euphoria and the fight against malaria.
You need Spotify but its free and wonderful so sign on up:
¡Olé! indeed. Yes, fresh from completing pioneering research on a malaria vaccine and a new kind of donut filling, Tears for Queers will make a rare Saturday night appearance at The George & Dragon this week. Come on down and shag some ass on the dancefloor to our trademark blend of foot-stomping 60’s soul, sexually ambiguous disco, 80’s dance, heart wrenching power ballads and girls with guitars. 8pm to midnightish, 2-4 Hackney Road, E2 7NS.
To celebrate this rare Saturday foray, here is a wonderful cover of one of our favourite songs by a Spanish narcoleptic transvestite, who lives with a dwarf, and works the streets to finally realise her dream of leaving her 20cm cock behind with the world’s greatest gender reassignment surgeon, Ms Rossy Di Palma. I Want to Break Free by Monica Cervera:
Today Tears for Queers invites you to play Hat or Hair with one of our favourite all time superstar legends, a women who not only owns a potent singing talent but also a range of marinades and hot sauces: the supreme Ms Patti Labelle.
Below we present a series of Patti’s greatest hat/hair mash ups. There is also a video to showcase her phenomenal voice (after the greatest all star gospel build up ever) and a startling example of her unique head-based mix up in all its thrusting pomp. Having reviewed the evidence, please solve th interminable riddle which has baffled scientists and hairdressers for over 25 years: hat or hair?
Hat or Hair? Is the whole dress made of hair?
Hat or Hair live!
So, can you solve the riddle which had even the combined talents of Stephen Hawking and Gok Wan stumped on a recent romantic caribbean mini-break?